ARE YOU A SELF-STARTER?

Good Morning Kindred Hearts! 

Being a Self-starter, being a disciplined person in thought, feeling, word and action....we should Strive to Master these skills.  The Truth is, and this sounds brutal, but if you are not a Self-Starter, if you are not a disciplined person.....this way of life will bring no thing but misery. The definition of these two words can not be considered as an abstract....they are absolutes.  It is not "I am somewhat of a self-starter....or I can be disciplined". It is all or nothing here. Anything else will not bring a lasting, permanent success. I think perhaps these are the two qualities, that when there is a lack....bring depression and severe anxiety.  For if these two Masteries are not in evidence at all times, you will not Trust yourself...there will always be this inner nagging of anxiousness, not ever sure if you will do what is necessary when the challenge comes, whether you can really count on yourself. 

So unfortunately, I cannot recommend this way of life if you have trouble getting up and getting at it; whatever calls.....getting on it immediately. If you have trouble with procrastinating....again, this is going to cause a headache of big problems.  Living this life requires a personality that ultimately chooses to be Sunny in Nature....yes, we have our times where darkness is what we initially see....and those of this Nature, this Sunny disposition....you know what is being Spoken here....this language.  The ability to see Good where it initially appears there is none. 

And here is a story exampling that.  Remembering that there is no such thing as a closed door....what seems to be a closed door is ALWAYS an open door....we just need to cultivate the ability to see thru the dark with the clarity of a noon day Sun. 

When I initially put in the water pipe running to this property, I put one vertical galvanized pipe above ground.  Off this galvanized pipe were a myriad of shutoffs and PVC pipe that run to all the places I need water. I foolishly attached the electrical ground to the water pipe at ground level and over the years dirt built up around it.  Ignoring the law of physics, or not understanding it.

As the ground became wet around the pipe, it reacted to the ground wire and began to rust thru the pipe. I could see that water was leaking from the pipe, the ground was always damp....but those who live this life know there is a priority to everything.  We run our lives according to priority and we are constantly in a state of re-ordering those priorities. This particular one kept be shuttled to the end of the long, long list of things I have to get to. 

Well, the last week my brother who is disabled....for some unknown reason he decided to lean on that pipe.  And guess what? It broke off. My main shutoff is probably a long city block from the property. I ran down there and shut off the main water valve.  Well, as so often happens...it is not summer, it is winter.....a time when it could have been a little less challenging has passed. It is now 45 during the day and high wind time of year.  I do not mind the relative cold here, 45 is as low as it gets here during the day but wind, 30mph+ winds make it a not so much fun project. 

I came inside. Sat down.  Stared out the window. Rain is forecast, it is a no sun day. This is a bigger deal than it sounds.  The pipe has rusted into the main inlet. Cheater bars, rust spray, nothing is working.  I can not get it out to replace it.  The thread screws have rusted into the thread on the bigger pipe. Plumbers are expensive and more so in a rural setting for they charge you for travel time.  Okay....that is out. What now?

I wait for direction, but in the back of my mind is that chastising of myself. I normally keep all the water storage barrels filled, all the duck water storage barrels filled. AND they are empty. No one close to get water from.  I procrastinated because....well (whining) it was so cold outside. I was going to do it tomorrow when sun and no wind was forecast. I wait. 

A little while later comes direction. Ah....YES!  Cut off the pipe just below where it is rusted and JB Weld (a girl's best friend) a 3/4 PVC cap on it.  Okay, I do that. I ran down to the main valve, turned it on......ran back (getting my extra curricular exercise for the day). Ah darn, its leaking considerably....that won't be a permanent fix.  So I go down to the barn, cut off a strip of heavy rubber from an old waterbed, grab a couple of pipe clamps. I fasten it around the pipe underneath the cap. Okay, still leaking but tolerable. 

Now what?  I come in, grab some warming food from my Mini Logic (you HAVE to have these).  Try to get centered. Procrastination has gotten me into a situation that adds to the problem of the broken pipe. I would have had more latitude with storage water available. (I end up having to drive to down, an hour round trip and spending $20 for water for the ducks).   

I do some internet googling "water pipe repair".  Amazon has a product but the reviews are so so. I keep Googling, feeling that the Amazon product isn't the direction.  AHA! I see a product called Perma Wrap....and they ship over night. Thank you! I ordered it, and sure enough, here next mid morning.  I read the directions a couple of times......assembled every possible thing I might need and GOT TO IT! It had to cure for an hour.....so I went and checked to see how everything was doing on the farm. 

An hour later.....I stare at the repair for a while, somewhat reluctant to turn the main water valve on - LOL.  I envision no leaks, I say it "This is a Perfect repair" and I see it so. I take Snow, my Great Pyrenees, and we walk down to the shut off.  I smile tentatively, still envisioning a Victory here. I turn the valve. I walk back, look in the hole. Well, Glory Be....no leak. All is well. Darkness has become Light! 

Now, this was not really a problem that came about entirely by procrastination.  What happened is several fold. First, I did hear, several times over the last couple of months.....fix the pipe.  I thought I had more time. I didn't. So it is always a learning process....when the phone rings, shall we pick it up and hear what is being said....or shall we say "oh......the phone is ringing....then answer the call but then say "oh, yes, alright, thank you.....but I have to go now (laughing).  It is an attuning process that never ceases. 

So with Sunny Disposition in hand....guess what?  The day after the pipe broke, the day I had to do the repair....was a bright, sunny, warm day.  And I realize that the breaking of the pipe was indeed fortuitous.....It could have happened at a much worse time....so the closed door that I initially saw....the "Oh, ANOTHER problem" (Because I am still trying to repair the roof)....turned out all in all, to be not such a big deal and I actually enjoyed the process. I ended up completely re-doing the whole shutoff system and I AM now ready for summer. Victory always brings Comfort in its wake. And ultimately how will we ever learn what we need to learn, to Master what we need to Master....it there are not corresponding Challenges.  Challenges are Opportunities. 

The problem I created was I had not kept the water storage barrels filled.  This might not seem like a big deal.....but what if the situation was more serious.....no filled water barrels left me vulnerable. Procrastination is a rare thing for me. But I need these things to happen once in a while to keep me on my toes.....for we, who live alone....complacency is not our friend. 

ARE YOU ABLE TO SEPARATE WHAT IS A NEED AND WHAT IS A DESIRE

One of the most important skills you can learn is to prioritize.  It requires mastering the emotions, not letting them rule you, but you learning to control them.  In some areas of this category, buying "things", and particularly if I am feeling a little vulnerable on a particular day, and oddly, mostly at the end of a long day, I will browse on the internet, looking for material solutions to a problem I am having on the property.  I call my property The Ark. This name holds many beautiful concepts for me.

Sometimes I often have consecutive days in a row that are fraught with challenges of the nature that if I do not make the extra effort to stay balanced emotionally, to take the time and still myself, then it gathers momentum; and although it seems I have "handled" the vulnerability....it pops up at the end of the day when sitting in front of the computer I veer toward finding a solution that money can solve. Clearly not remembering the concepts of Ark......I should be looking within for the solution, not outwardly. 

Almost without fail, I have found these purchases to be money ill-spent and cost me time that I could have better spent by stilling the emotions so I could see the correct answer to the problem.  This is where we learn, over time, to discern what was an actual need, and what was just a emotional reflex to outside circumstances.  In other words, we are also learning to discriminate whether we are actually looking for a solution to a problem with something needing physical addressing on the farm, or are we responding to an emotional need for instant comfort; which for many is buying something. Eating too much food is another way we can respond to anxiousness. 

I will give you an example.  I had a challenging summer last year.  I am in the process of breeding out my own seasonal vegetables. Common sense says that me buying seeds from a geographical region that is opposite of mine is going to create problems.  This is why I became so interested in the land-race concept (a later post). No matter how grand a seed catalog looks - I mean we see nothing but perfect plants with perfect fruit, perfect everything right?  Do we really think they have no problems with disease, with pestilence?  We'd like to think that buying that seed will guarantee a gen-u-wine fairy tale jack in the beanstalk.  IT DOES NOT! For a long time I tried to keep believing that if I bought new seed, instead of saving my seeds, well......how could I go wrong.  So I was not perceiving correctly a need from an emotional desire. 

Perfect anything does not happen over night. I knew that but I just wanted to BELIEVE - LOL.  It takes a lot of Love, a lot of Patience. Decades upon decades. Luther Burbank went thru 100,000, yes 100,000 trials to come up with the spineless cactus. Hmmm. No technique is going to save you no matter what anyone says.  It is the Love, the Patience, the Kindness that you show to the land that will reap you the rewards and really, with few exceptions, no wondrous doo-dad is going to miraculously create a Garden of Eden. It is you that is the cornerstone.  Not the seed, not the perfect technique, not the fertilizer. You. 

So....I just couldn't get a handle on this, I had successes then failures.  Even this year. After all this time. I spent $300 on a vortex worm castings maker. What a joke.  What was I thinking? I ended up dismantling it and using the different parts to create actual useful things.  It was an emotional response to the pestilence problem I had with seeds from a company that I should not have ever bought.  See how it can run away from you? If we don't get a good mastery of this skill, we will always be chasing our tail. 

My answer to this problem was to admit that I haven't quite mastered this skill yet.  I still have those days from time to time, and those lapses cost me money I could have spent wisely elsewhere.  I need new potable water hoses.  I could have bought 3 new hoses for what that darn vortex cost me. 

One method that can help you master this skill is to wait.  I have a rule with myself, wait one week. If I still think I need it, I reassess, then I probably will buy it. I broke my own rule with the vortex.  It was late at night and I bought into the PR of the the guy selling it. Why is it something seems so convincing late at night that we wouldn't have considered in the noon day sun - LOL.  I know myself pretty well. I actually do know when I should not be buying something I don't need. It is there, in my solar plexus....that anxious feeling...I hear it, I feel it, DON'T it is saying.  And sometimes I am not brave; I give in. I want an answer NOW. Buying this will solve the problem.....then I won't be anxious (laughing at myself) 

I will tell you one more story, then its off to fix oatmeal.  I live on a mesa, the winds are often 30mph with 50mph gusts. We actually, yep, here in the desert, had a tornado here a couple years back. Not just a wind whirly masquerading but an actual 90mph tornado.  So....a couple of weeks ago the wind ripped a 3x3 foot piece of roofing off one of my grow houses where I grow summer vegetables under lights in the winter. Tropical fruit tree starts for the greenhouse.  I became very very anxious.  How will I fix this, oh my. I am 5'4", 110 pounds, I will NEVER be able to get a roll of tarpaper and a roll of roll roofing up there by myself.  Fret. worry. My knee jerk answer was to immediately spend $50 on a 12 mil tarp, thinking to myself, well, I don't want to deal with this, I'll just cover the hole with a tarp. 

Okay, I know, what WAS I thinking? That the wind wasn't going to do the same thing to the tarp?  I am a very spiritual person...my life is governed in all ways by this spiritual commitment. I was having these visions of water deluge, leaking thru the roof, ruining the ceiling, well....you get the idea. Letting my emotions rule instead of knowing that this challenge had a perfect answer just like every other challenge that has come to me for the last 30 years.  So I calmed myself. Had to return the tarp. Still, no answer. I waited. My emotions kept saying "its going to rain, everything will be ruined". I told them to shut up. THEN....the inner direction. I was led to a product on Amazon that is a rubber roof sealant that you paint on.  I have used it on my RVs (storage) I have here but that stuff called Liquid Roof, can not be used on asphalt roofing. But Lo and Behold, they do make it for asphalt roofing.  Now, of course this is a temporary fix. But then I got more direction. I could now build the double roof system which is so popular in the Middle East. And yes, I CAN carry up sheets of galvanized roofing.  See? We can do this girls, we can.

DOUBLE ROOF SYSTEM

CRITERIA FOR CHOOSING WHERE TO LIVE, A PLACE TO CALL HOME.

Now, I am not married, and have no children, so most of my posts are aimed toward those who are, as we say, unencumbered. Obviously a first consideration is are you working, and have to continue to work, maybe for awhile?  This is where living rurally, and not off grid, gives you greater latitude. I live in an unincorporated area called Landers, in the High Desert of California. An offshoot of a small town called Yucca Valley. I am 30 minutes away from Yucca.  I live on a dirt road that is 3 miles off a small two lane road. I have only one close neighbor, but he isn't close by city measurements. Its quiet here, no noise, no traffic, no streetlights, and few street signs....you aren't going to be able to find your way around here after dark if you aren't local. I can see 360 degrees in all directions. 

In Yucca is a Walmart, a Home Depot, Staters, Von's, Grocery Outlet, a few fast food restaurants, a 99 cents store, a Petco and a Marshalls (which I have never been in - LOL), a small medical center (which I also have never been to), and feed stores. Little mom and pop businesses. By definition still a small town.  Business for the most part are on one main street and run for about maybe 5 miles max. Population is I think about 15,000 but that covers a pretty big area. An hours drive away, which isn't a big deal here because its a straight shot, no stop signs kind of thing, is Palm Springs, where all things city and five star are.  So where I live is for the most part, ideal. I am away from them, if you stand in my yard, you have no idea all those things exist.  No lights, no noise, no outer signs of civilization. 

So for someone who has to work but still wants to live this kind of life, a place like this is ideal.  I have two 2500 Dodge Ram diesel trucks. One is a 4x4. And you'd be surprised but it is needed out here from time to time.  Several years ago, we got 3' of snow, and I was the only one who for a week, could get out. Late last year, of all things, we had a flood. It channeled all around the property but I had swales and gullies and it went that way instead of thru my property.  Some were not so blessed. Many of the roads were out for months, and as we are unincorporated, well, road maintenance happens to a certain degree, we pay for it on our taxes.....but when something like a flood comes it is at the pleasure of the government that repairs are made or not made.  So many had to form groups who live a little ways from me by the crow flies, to repair their roads. No mail delivery here, or UPS or Fed Ex. We have post boxes but mine is at the end of the 3 mile dirt road. All the common carriers deliver to our teeny tiny local post office, 15 minutes away.  Post office is only open from 8-10 and 1-3. 

You can see then, we still get the thrills and chills of off-grid living with less of a do it or die kind of experience. 

My taxes?  Now we all know California is a high dollar kind of place to live.  But I pay a whopping $400 a year in taxes. It is a laid back place to live.  So much so that I have been toying with the idea of getting a pony trained barefoot, and a wagon to go to town in the summer.  Well, to be honest, I wanted camels. The man who lives a few miles from me has camels. And camels are a love of mine from previous lives - LOL.  Although you can get a camel for next to nothing if you happen to live in Saudi Arabia or Afghanistan, camels are about $10,000 a piece and up here, so pony had to be my choice.   

Careers.  They are a bane of existence aren't they?  I think its safe to say, it is not really possible to live here in the U.S. and not need money.  And let's face it, without it, it can be a very hard, difficult life. We do not have the culture that we had in the 1800's, and it isn't going to come back....trust me on this...that is why I worked for a period in my life, 10 hours a day, 7 days a week, so I could live like this now. 

But what job?  What career? Trust me also that you are not going to be able to have a money source you can rely on if you want to dream about making jewelry, or pottery, or all those wonderful but not really needful commodities to the ones you want to sell to.  I have a lot of work skills.  I have had jobs where I made the big money.  In the long run, I had to jump thru too many of other people's hoops, did not feel valued and it was quite honestly, depressing...not a way I wanted to call life.  So I started some "inner" seeking....what could I do in this area...what was needed, that would remain a need? 

I mentioned to you that I live an hour drive from Palm Spring.  Where all the richies live. What do they all have in common? Big houses that need to be cleaned. HA!  Well, I am sort of a perfectionist anyway; perfect job for me. So I placed an ad in their paper down there, $25hour, cash.  To make a long story very short....I did it for 20 years, I had wonderful wonderful clients who considered me family and treated me as valuable, and I made a lot of money. No one was ever home while I cleaned, most of them didn't realize they owned kitchens, let alone use them.....life was grand and I had a visually beautiful place to work. 

So think outside the box.  The Chinese know about this.....it is called the law of supply and demand.  Find a need and fill it. You aren't going to make much money selling eggs, or veggies.  If you are going to invest in yourself as a commodity that can be a going concern, look with eagle eyes....for the need....and fill it. 

OVERVIEW: Why Rural and Not Off-Grid

Having been inspired by Pearl Sutton's (Permies website) efforts to educate and inspire women - I have started this blog.  A place to ask all sorts of questions about living rurally. I live in a rural area in the High Desert of California. I have lived many places.....Utah, Oregon, and Wyoming were my favorites.  But when I wanted to settle down and stop living in a tent in the wilderness, I chose here. Why? Because here is the best balance. It neither gets too cold, or too hot. The High Desert that I live in is at 3400'.  Today, for instance.....it is 45 degrees out with 20mph winds....but I sit inside with windows all facing the sun, and I am in shirt sleeves. The cabin (384s.f) warms up during the day and stays warm at night.  I have a small wood stove and have not used it in years. I retired 15 years ago and bought this property - 2-1/2 acres, in a tax sale for $6,000. 

Why did I not choose to live off-grid? I will try to make this as short as possible.  As I said, I have lived in wilderness, and well, it is fun and wonderful but it isn't something I wanted to do forever.  So maybe I understood the challenges better than some who live in the city and dream romantically of living off the land without conveniences.  As I look at it, living at this time, unlike back in the 1800's (as an arbitrary timeframe), why not take advantage of all the wonderful conveniences we have now.....not be totally dependent on them, but etch out a way of living that is not primarily based on "conquering" life challenges, but living peacefully and happily within nature, and not running myself into the ground to prove i can overcome something that I frankly don't see as something important as a life goal. 

I was born in 1948 and most of my life has been a time where women were not encouraged to do the things I have done. But I did them anyway. Odd things, seemingly unconnected experiences. Eclectic is saying it mildly.  I learned a little bit about everything. I had a career that allowed me full autonomy over my life. I often took a year or two off, or maybe a summer....living in wilderness. At some point, around in my 50's, I was wondering if perhaps I had taken a wrong turn some where.  Every one seemed to have these well planned lives full of seemingly successful life choices that had garnered them careers that provided them with money to buy material goods. Houses, cars, boats.....I asked myself whether I should have taken one path, instead of all these hundreds of paths. 

But then when I started this little project living here, I realized that it was as if all those experiences were training, was schooling, for living here.  Learning a little about everything along my life path, Not having relationships that have categories such as friend or spouse, moulded me into a person that I had learned to trust when making decisions.  I had learned to move at my own pace, not someone else's. I had learned living in the wilderness that only me was going to save me - LOL, so....... 

This blog is for those, probably mostly women.....those who are dreaming what this life is like.....and seeing from those of us who are doing this, what it is actually like.  Perhaps you are a mature woman, divorced or widowed and you wonder what it was that your husband did outside in the yard in the garage, out in the garden or fields. Perhaps you are waking up and seeing that life could be different but you don't know where to start.  Perhaps afraid, not confident that you can do this. 

There are many many wonderful experiences to be had in living rurally.  You will have electricity, have water....and as you go along and you learn, and learn, and learn, you can have both....a place that provides comforts but you are ready when the power goes out, when the drought comes....There is nothing you have to prove to anyone.  Always remember that. Your word is your word and you should be able to say those words, do those things, without being criticized. Yes, you make mistakes along the way......but you learn sometimes, more from the mistakes, than the perceived failures. I have learned that often when something went array it was because my beginning idea was a wrong concept....and the failure showed me a new path to success. So it wasn't really a failure was it.